Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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