stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
They took my balls.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
