If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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