Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
as a side note pls kill me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
