found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
