I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
why do cheetos always look like penises
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
