In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
