and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
3 2 1 whiskey
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
