I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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