bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
