It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
