i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
