I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
