I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Who died my cat blue again?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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