I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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