then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
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