The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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