Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
