so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
