nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
