the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
