i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize