apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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