I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
