We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
