I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
