Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
