Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
