Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
