Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she pinky promised me she was 18
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
