He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
