Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
