You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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