You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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