i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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