Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
