Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
