Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
