Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
