I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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