so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
