Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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