OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
