You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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