Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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