I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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