Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
