You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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