It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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