Kiss
Puke
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
