You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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