I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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