if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Randomize
