somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
