yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
