whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
