Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
