you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
